Lynn - 9 months later

Howdy family and friends,

The Hats have come off! I have enough fuzz on my head that I have decided to go hatless….hopefully I will be brave enough to bare this almost bare head at school! Poor Tracy has had to endure my constant fixation with hair, first the disappearance of it and now the announcements as each hair reappears (often she gets more information than she wants)J.

It has been nine months since the diagnosis of breast cancer – what a journey. It did not take long for me to discover others that shared my plight or had far greater challenges and I realized that I have been truly blessed with the family, friends, and medical resources to overcome what was once a devastating disease. The final leg of this journey has been the easiest to manage. I spend about 15 minutes each morning lying on a table having a radiation treatment. At first I spent the time counting the seconds the machine “zapped” each of five tattooed locations. But I soon learned this was the perfect time for prayer/meditation. I imagine I will miss those few minutes of silence come January and I am back in the classroom. The treatments have left me with quite a tan on one side of my body, (the other side is pasty white – ugh)! The area around my clavicle is now peeling, so it isn’t very appealing! Four more treatments left – Christmas eve will me my last treatment – what a great Christmas gift! 2010 will mark the beginning of my journey back to a “normal” life. There will still be tons of doctor’s appointments, tests, treatments, and one more surgery in the spring to remove the port but all of that will occur around my normal work schedule. I have been told to expect it to take a year for my body, energy, and brain to really feel “normal” again. All the stories about “chemo brain” are true – I have been quite a space cadet (although some say they haven’t seen any difference – oops)! Thank you for being there for me, words can’t express how wonderful it is to get a simple card or email on those days when you know you have to go in for another treatment and you would rather stay home tucked under the covers. I intend to “pay it forward” as I discover ways to help others and hope I can “be there” to help you when you need it. In God’s Love, Lynn

Last Chemo - written by Lynn

A Major Milestone was passed today – my LAST chemo treatment! I know the next four days may not be much fun, but it is all uphill from there! Hurray! Actually, the entire process seemed to go quickly and though I don’t suggest this is the best way to spend six months (two for surgeries, four for chemo), it wasn’t as bad as I expected. I give a lot of the credit to my wonderful oncologist, Dr. Palchak, and his fantastic staff –this office goes above and beyond to make certain you are getting the best of the best in treatments and care. They are not just caregivers; they are family and treat you as such. The sweetest moment was today - just as the last of my chemo cocktail was dripping out of the IV I heard voices coming down the hall singing “congratulations to you…..” and I thought “how sweet, someone in one of the other chemo rooms is celebrating a birthday or something,” but it was Dr. Palchak and his entire staff coming into my room with a cake! It was all I could do not to cry (those of you that REALLY know me know that is not that unusual – but this was an incredibly sweet gesture and meant a lot to me).

So on we go – I will still have monthly infusions of the biophosphates, (the clinical trial I am a part of) through January, then every four months for the next 2 ½ years. They can be administered through an IV or using my port. The doc said that the highest percentage of cancer relapses occur within the first year so he wants me to keep my port until I am cancer free for a year. I wanted to say, “take it out, I’ve been there, done that with the cancer thing and there will be no relapses,” but I am glad that I won’t have to face another surgery before returning to the classroom in January. So I will wait and beg for them to remove it during my summer break.

In another week I go in for another PET scan and the radiologist will give me tattoos that will serve as the “targets” for delivering the radiation treatments. Those treatments will begin in three weeks (they want you recovered from chemo first).

I know that the side effects of radiation are different than chemo. The toughest chemo side effect for me has been weight gain. In the course of four months I gained30 pounds! This is harder on me than the hair loss, the good news is I can use my “skinny blouses” as head scarves. I was warned that most women gain weight on this drug regime, but I think I have been a bit of an overachiever in this arena. The problem was created by the combination of the drugs, my being too tired work out (six months ago I was doing intense boot camp workouts 3 to 4 times a week), and that I am one of those folks that eat when feeling down or bored. So now I must give my energy to fighting the side effects of radiation and fat cells so that come January I will have the energy necessary to challenge 29 second graders!

From Lynn

Howdy –

I thought it was about time for an update as I journey through thi s cancer process. In a nutshell, all is going well, I feel like I am handling chemo and its side effects very well. My biggest problem is working in all the things I want to do and still have time to get to all the various doctor appointments and the rest my body demands.

For those that want more details – I have finished the first four rounds of Chemo on the drugs Adriamycin & Cyclophoshamide. I also had to take some pretty serious antinausea drugs, they caused me to be pretty loopy at times; of course the family found it quite hilarious when I would put the cereal box in the fridge or begin a sentence then forget what I was talking about. Yesterday was my second round of Taxol – this drug doesn’t create the same level of nausea so I don’t have to take such powerful drugs. All of the above drugs create hair loss so I don’t leave the house without a hat or scarf on. Some mornings I will come upstairs with my bare head and Serafina will comment, “Nana, you still look like a boy!” She tells people I will go back to work when I “look like a girl.” I hope she is right and my hair grows back that quickly, but who knows! I did wear a wig to a fundraiser the other night and actually fooled folks! I am so aware of it as a wig it is hard to believe that others don’t realize it is. (By the end of the evening it was itchy and I was scooting it around to scratch my head – Tracy said that gave it away, but only my family members got to see my antics). It is a little hard to go out even with head coverings, I feel like it is a flag saying “she has cancer,” but Tracy won’t let me sit at home. I am surprised I don’t notice other “bald” folks out and about. When you are pregnant you start seeing a million other pregnant people. So knowing how many people are fighting some form of cancer I wonder why I don’t see others either bald or with head coverings.

I am also taking part in a clinical trial using biosphonates. They are administered once a month for 6 months then once every three months for 2.5 years through my port (the same way I get all my chemo and antinausea drugs). The study is hoping that these drugs will delay or prevent bone metastases and increase the chances of long-term disease-free survival.

The biggest hassle I seem to have is getting ready to go anywhere. Last April I would roll out of bed, grab anything in my closet to wear, brush my hair and maybe put a clip in it. If I remembered makeup I would slap on some lipstick then was out the door. Now I will get up planning to run errands with Tracy so lotions are slathered on because of dry skin, then the arm exercises for my lymphedema must be done followed with squeezing my arm into a compression sleeve, then search begins in my closet for ANYTHING that might fit because the steroids (and lack of exercise) has caused me to gain a gross amount of weight), next sunscreen and makeup are needed so I won’t look like the walking dead, then I go through a series of mouth washes to heal/prevent mouth sores, and select headgear to match my outfit. FINALLY I am ready to face the world…..whoops; Tracy has run her errands and is home again. No problem, I am totally worn out from getting ready and need to take a nap!

Treatment #2

In her own words:

It’s me again. Today they loaded me up with my second dose of chemo; just think, if all goes well I only have six more chemo treatments to go - life is good! All went well once they got the port working – I seem to have a temperamental port. But, as usual, yesterday’s blood draw took two pricks so I am quite thankful for my port. I was there for three-and-a-half hours for the treatment. My poor nurse had an unbelievably busy day. Her first person of the day had problems that then messed with their usually perfectly scheduled lineup of patients. Tracy and I didn’t really mind we had my laptop for silly games, Tracy was trying to download ring tones to our phones and we had reading to catch up on in Purpose Driven Life. So we were being our usual silly selves when the buzzer went off alerting the nurse that one of my IV bags was empty. She was busy with another patient and called down the hall, “I will be there in a minute.” Jokingly I responded, “OK, I won’t die will I?” Next thing I knew my very calm, very reserved, oncology doctor came running down the hallway!! Whoops, I guess you don’t yell things, like “die” in the office.

I am afraid my family is going to get really tired of me talking about my aches and pains – but they are weird (aches and pains, not my family). I never seemed to know when, where, or what kind of ache or pain I will have until it hits – hopefully as I learn the triggers and all becomes routine I will discover it is predictable. Although tiredness and pain exist, it is manageable. What I am struggling to manage is the fact I can’t be in charge of the world any more. I have to take the back seat, relax, and enjoy the ride. The big question everyone wants to know – yes – I still have my hair, I have been told it will probably go in the next two weeks. Last week we shared with the kids more details about my cancer fight so they won’t be alarmed as things happen including my losing hair. Later Jennifer (Trevor’s wife) came over and asked Serafina if anything exciting was happening this week (Serafina turned 4 so Jen expected to hear about the upcoming party). She answered, “Nana is going to lose her hair!” That’s about all that’s fit to print so I best take a nap! Love, Me

In Her Own Words

So yesterday was mom's first day of Chemo and as she experienced a sleepless night she wrote her own update for the blog! So in her own words, here is Lynn:

Chemo Day 1

As a person who responds strongly to drugs I was curious about how I would handle strong chemo drugs. The administration went smoothly, short of me almost kicking the nurse during the second of pain when she inserted the IV in the port-a-cath (we now have some cream that should deaden the area for next time) . Silly me, I was thinking it was a 30 minute process – it took 2 ½ hours for them to load me up with two chemo chemicals and an anti-nausea drug (plus I had taken an anti-nausea pill that morning). Once at home I felt that I was functioning fairly well, a bit tired so I decided to take out my contact, put on my glasses, and sit and read. Reading was a little difficult because my vision was somewhat blurred (I had read earlier that this could be a side effect) so I watched TV and dozed. Tracy needed to pick up kids and I decided to ride shotgun so ran to take off my glasses & put in my contact (so I could wear my sunglasses, I know it is crazy). I found my contact case empty – my contact was still in my eye, I had been wearing glasses over it! Tracy said, “No driving for me for awhile.” Rest of the day was great, wonderful friends brought pizza, we sat outside and chatted, all was manageable. After they left I started feeling nauseas but was saved when dear Jon brought Starbucks ….. Manna from heaven. By bedtime the nauseas feeling had returned only to be brought under control with my second favorite treat….a Popsicle! During the night I had the strangest dreams…..reminded me of the types of dreams you have when you are pregnant. I had to get up a million times to go to the bathroom because of the ton of water they told me to drink. Navigation was difficult and nothing looked right, the bruise on my arm from Thursday’s IV looked like a giant bug and I didn’t realize it wasn’t until I had slapped my arm a few times. On my way to the bathroom there was this red light near the floor that I didn’t recognize so I tried to stay as far from it as possible until I realized it was the baby monitor Tracy had plugged in so she could keep tabs on me (Jamie is out-of-town). Then I spent the rest of the night trying to resist the urge to speak into the monitor, “Tracy…this is the voice of God, “etc. Now my stomach muscles feel like I threw up all night, but I didn’t at all so that is good. I know things might get a little more intense in the next day or two, but I can manage it (can others manage my goofiness)? My greatest fear is Tracy has to manage a household of eight, run the kids to various activities, and run me to appointments. I have at least one if not two appointments a day for the next 14 days – yikes! Pray for perfect children and no flat tires.

What a week!

Just a quick note before bed to update everyone on Mom and me. I am the easy one, my pain is subsiding, so no surgery!! Yeah, it was definitely a Cyst and it went away by itself. By Wednesday the pain was merely gone and today I was doing back flips (not really).

Mom on the other hand, is good, but through a couple loops into the week. Instead of chemo starting today she had a portacath (sp?) put in. This is basically an IV entrance site placed up on her chest under her skin. Because of the lumphs they can only draw blood, and place IV's on her right arm, well her right arm has veins even then most talented nurse or doctor can't get in without 2 0r 3 pokes! OWE. So this portacath with do all the work, the can draw blood from, give her meds in it, basicly no more pricks until they take it out (which will be after all her chemo treatments are done.) To put it in they did have to put her under a genral, everthing went well. The surgery took under 30mins.

The one thing we were not expecting was the amount of pain she is experincing today. But every hour it seems to lesson and tomorrow she should be good. The funniest thing (yes she is lauhing about it too) is for the next week she is not to lift her right arm above her shoulder and not carry more then 10-15lbs with that arm. Well because of the lymphodema, she cant lift more then 3lbs with her left arm and it is still being stretched out from surgery so it is rather painfull to lift above her head!! We decided that gives her a combine weight of 18lbs, poor Matteo he is 22 or 23lbs and lets not even get into trying to put a shirt on! Oh my gosh, what is a girl to do?!? I am just about ready to hire nurse!!! HAHA.

Hope you all are doing weel, we (the kids and I) are off to the water park tomorrow with some good friends! Hopefully we will get some good pictures!

Oh, yes and Chemo will start on Tuesday now!!

Busy, Busy, Busy

What a bad blogger I have been. I apologize! Matt and I got home from the CMA music festival and we hit the ground running; catching up on mom's doctor appointments, summer time activities for the kids, and we also had a huge graduation party to get ready. The graduation party was a huge success in my mind but I will blog about the latter. For now I would like to post a little update on Lynn.

-Second surgery was a success the margins are now the right size and the tissue they took showed no cancer.

-she met with her oncologist and he stage her cancer at 3A. Basically because of the amount to lymph's that were affected.

-the next course of treatment is a 96 day round of chemotherapy. Again this is due in part because of the lymph's, the chemo targets the whole body and will get any free radicals hanging around.

-after chemo she will then do a round of radiation and then be done. I am not sure for the exact days of radiation but do know it is a short period then the chemo.

-lymph edema, we have learned a lot on this subject. Mom's arm was starting to show a little swelling so one of the doctors sent her to a special lymph edema place where they are giving her daily massages for two weeks to help improve circulation. Part of these treatments includes wrapping the whole arm to maintain pressure. So mom is currently walking around with one arm mummified! It looks like she broke her arm.

There has definitely been a lot to learn and I feel like we have not even
touched the tip when it comes to information. But my mom has such a great team of doctors and French hospital has a great cancer wellness center that has helped my mom and us all navigate this new world.

What all this means: With this course of action they except a full recovery and a estimate a small chance of recurrence. Yeah. Oh and they also did a PET scan last week which showed there was no sign of cancer anywhere! Another big yeah. We are probably still about 2wks out from start chemo (from our calculations) but will hopefully (fingers crossed) have a more definite start time tomorrow as my mom has another appointment with the oncologist.

That is all that is fit to print on my mom. Besides a few (OK a lot) of doctors appointments it just feels like a normal summer around. The weather is beautiful; we go to the gym and workout, take the kids to summer activities and get into our normal bouts of trouble when the two of us are left home alone all day! Now you can wait with baited breath to hear more on the CMA's and the graduation party!